The Green Hat

I'm watching him walk around. I can't see his face because I forgot my glasses, but I know it's him because I can see his green hat. What is it about that hat? The lady in the elevator had said it was hand made. Was it? Did he make it? I'm chewing on the inside of my lip as I regretfully walk away to my next class, the green hat the only thing on my mind as I'm listening to the teacher drone on and on about government and things I don't care about.

I can't help thinking about how he's in my next class. Suddenly I'm wondering if he thinks about me this way too. If he notices me wherever he goes, if he's always hyper aware of my presence. I hope so.

Now I'm in starbucks after school, trying to write more in the story I've already started sharing with these 25 people who've seen this blog, wondering if we'll ever be what I want us to be. Wondering if our kiss will ever happen. He said something to me last night, he said "My whole life is thunder." My whole life is thunder. My whole life is thunder. I'm laughing just thinking about him.

People always say things like "it isn't a crush if it hurts." Does that mean this isn't a crush? Because maybe it hurts a little bit, but honestly? I enjoy every minute of it. It hurts the first few seconds after he walks past me and pretends he doesn't know who I am (granted, sometimes I do the same), but then I think about him and his low, quiet voice his green hat, and I just smile. I just can't stop smiling.